I would describe myself as:
Hello to all ye lovely girls. It's impossible to really truly describe yourself in just a few choice words. If you have time to hang on for a bit, you can decide if my spiel does make for more compelling reading than a drab Bridget Jones column-- If not: then no worries -- there's no obligation to read any of my drivel so I won't be responsible if anyone happens to get their frilly knickers in a right twist over my ranting !
I cannot help but chuckle at the brazen hypocrisy of many of the photoless and ever so noble and revealing 'ask me later' profiler types alleging that I am vague. One thing this online dating lark has taught me is not to waste any more time playing silly childish charades with such faceless 'silhouettes' not prepared to put their heads above the pulpit and show that they are nothing more than spineless little chickens trying to conceal some major complex hang-ups !
So if I say something a bit tongue in cheek, do know that I'm not being nasty or mean. It's just me being me. I do know what I like in women and if you were thinking there it was "*****" then really it goes without saying that it is you who has a one track mind as I was going to say 'charm'! Don't fret however as you can allow yourself the comfort of knowing you won't be publicly ostracised for harboring normal human feelings after all !
I'm someone who sees the glass not even as the lethargic worn out clichéd 'half full' but rather waiting to be topped up? Why settle for mediocrity? Suffice to say, I admire and appreciate confident people who can just be and act themselves without being false or shallow. But conversely too, I despise those pompous la-di-da high almighty types who love the sound of their own uppity voice and are totally stuck up their own @RS€š..if you excuse my woeful French.!
Like most folks I guess I have to conform to the stereotypical mention about interests and say I enjoy the outdoors and doing reasonable amounts of sporty activities. I do some reading and am learning Spanish at the moment. Eat healthy most of the time apart from some occasional sporadic forays into junk food territory! I play 5 a side football and golf weekly off a respectable 11 h/cap. I go hiking a bit and the gym usually once a week without getting anyway totally immersed or self-absorbed in it. And for the love of Christ, I hope I'll never be brainwashed into joining the legion ranks of the pathetic cretins in the vanity brigade by going viral with a ghastly selfie gym pose! Love traveling to new places even if it's only a few days getaway in Ireland especially around West Cork and Kerry. I never fail to appreciate the wild beauty of Ireland's rugged Atlantic coastline whatever the weather. When I can travel abroad, I do like to go to many off the beaten places not just the classic mainstream touristy resorts such as the exquisitely oriental Tallaghtmolinos or the equally divine Playa del Finglas !
If you ask me about my other hobbies - of course I'd be delighted to reveal more if you don't mind having your head melted listening to 'moi' harping on about my large archaic dinosaur collection of 80s+90s music or my home cooking with a diverse range of Indian ingredients or seaweed spices, recommending some of the best indigenous craft beers or less well known interesting and quirky things to see around the country. Hopefully you may find even these trivial things as being even a tad more interesting than those people whose riveting lives are totally consumed vegetating as Social Media junkies wondering how many of their 500+ Virtual Facebook "friends" will give a thumbs up to a recently uploaded post about some useless moronic fact or who are religiously engrossed following what some nauseating wannabee celebrity is 'Tweeting' what they had for breakfast etc, who Kim K has been banging now or caring about the next possible eviction from the Big Brother household !
My ideal partner would be:
A sassy adventurous type who exudes that confident spirit and a lovely outgoing personality to match. Certainly wouldn't be a serious dreary wishy-washy type but someone who can simply be themselves without needing to crave attention unlike the lycra panted contrived synchronised swishy bum wiggling power walking types in the brightest fluorescent tops who ironically only ever seem to appear on the busiest roads at rush hour traffic done up to the hilt in make up, perfect designer bob haircuts and complimentary streaky fake tan. A woman with a great sense of humour who can give me a taste of my own sarcasm when needs be and who can savor the simpler chilled out things as well as enjoying letting her hair down and getting her hands dirty or her feet wet from time to time might just be in the same ballpark or singing off the same hymn sheet as me so to speak even if my singing is goddamn awful !
It would be so refreshing if more women could talk candidly about their 'real' interests in a 'realistic' way. Believe it or not, but some guys are actually interested in knowing about them! There's a ridiculous amount of pouting girls profiles that seem to be custom carbon copied from some VIP magazine of 'things I could mention to look cool list'. Many make wild audacious claims to go to the gym and do all the latest spinning, zumba, pilates, kettle bells, antigravity yoga & any other fancy sounding activity like aqua aerobics that you can rattle of your tongue 6-7 NIGHTS A WEEK to try and publicly portray that they are living almost a utopia existence ! Hence all these aspiring 'Team Ireland Olympians' would thus have no time for a potential hot date. By a sheer unique random coincidence - all of them amazingly just happen to love being serenaded by Paolo Nutini or drooling over Tom Baxter in concert too ! Even within the hectic schedules their absolutely fantastic pristine so OMG jobs demand,<<God love them>> they only manage to squeeze in 3 or 4 ski holidays a year! Oh don't forget to mention also the so very onerous task of having to dine in all the latest snazzy restaurants every week..just to spruce up the persona of a champagne lifestyle that bit more !
Some of the pretentious types out there would probably claim they could make an Aran sweater too -not surprising really given the amount of yarns they can spin! Do all these women dream there is an endless assembly line of dashing Brad Pitts, 50 shades of awful sterile wussy Mr Greys or rugby star celebrities that will suddenly randomly arrive from cloud cuckoo land on a fine white horse and gallop away with them into the sunset ? If so- then very well... Who am I to to be a killjoy and detract from them still dreaming about their Enid Blyton fantasies when they are getting to the big M !
Surely there's many dynamic women out there not inhibited by delusions of grandeur who want to give real salt of the earth guys a fair crack of the whip to prove they're normal solid man material ?
My ideal date would be:
Going for a lovely mesmerising awe inspiring walk together in the park where we can dazzle each other with cringeworthy small talk, pick daisies, feed the ducks etc... If we still like each other we can make a very adventurous plan to sit in together on Friday night to watch the Late Late Show and share some romantic ham sambos and Tayto crisps.?? Exciting stuff...hey...!!?