I would describe myself as:
The dim glow of the black and white screen illuminated two faces. Both disinterested yet attentive to the images presented in glorious motion upon the grimy and uncleared ancient monitor.
Bill and Joe, worked the night shift, never quite capable nor desirous of life during daytime. The slow ebb and flow of building security at 1am on a Saturday night suited them.
Below them the cities street were filled with the drunk and revelrous masses. Meandering in chaotic groupings to and from one drinking hoe or club to another.
"So Joe, I was reading a book recently...", Bill suddenly uttered while taking a brief moment to scratch his crotch slowly.
"Oh really? Sure it wasn't a magazine?", returned Joe snarkily.
"Yeah, yeah, it was concerning the nature of reality and perception. Deep stuff. Really got me thinking.", Bill gestured lazily to roof with a sweep of his arm as if to encompasses and represent the totality of reality with the wave of his hand.
"Uh huh.", Joe took a sip of his coffee and leaned further back in his chair, moving in a well practised manoeuvrer proven to maximise his comfort.
"Have you ever thought about it? All we see and all we hear are just signals sent from these senses of our physical body. Just like the pictures on the monitor here, just images from a camera. Only seeing what they are built to see. You get me?", his enthusiasm evident in the slight increase in the pitch of his voice and his wild gesticulation.
“Oh check out the outfit on your one there, legs right up to the heavens that one.”, Joe countered, quickly selecting the relevant camera and full screening it. His deft hand guided and zoomed the camera in till a young blonde girl seductively dressed in short skirt, thigh high boots and low top filled the screen.
“Ho boyo that one's on the hunt tonight Joe for sure. Predator in the wild, some young fella better watch out. She'd wreck ya and come back for seconds!”
“So is that real enough for you Bill?”, a wry glance passing across his face.
“Aha!”, Bills arms shot out wide. “See that's what I'm talking about! Cause really that's just an image on a screen Joe. You trust it's real cause you trust that what the camera sees is what's there. But really it's just photons hitting a receptor in the lens of a machine. Converted to electrons, fired across a bunch of wire and converted to an image on this here shitty monitor. What we see is not what is. It's just a moving picture. You couldn't reach out and touch her”
“I'd reach out and touch her for sure”, interjected Joe.
“Hehe Joe, you wouldn't have a chance, have you seen yourself lately. If you got and any paler you'd be a ghost. When was the last time you saw the sun?”
“Sure don't I see it every morning rising in the west before I go to bed, beautiful it is rising above the flats. Almost makes you feel you're not living in a dump.”, Joe smiled his wry little smile and took a sip over coffee as thick as tar.
“East Joe, sun rises in the east. Anyway so your one there. Is she any realer on the camera than she is in your memory. Cause I know you'll be remembering her when you get home to bed you dirty feck.”, Bill darted a quick finger poking Joe in the shoulder.
“Real enough for me Bill, real enough for me. Your patrol anyhow. Grab the keys and get to moving.”, he pointed to the clock ticking methodically ever forwards.
“Right you are, you see any more like that and you take a clip of that for me. For research purposes you understand.”, He stood, spilling cleaning the crumbs from a previous eaten biscuit to the floor, moved to the office door and turned around.
“Is any of this real Joe?”
“No Bill, not really, just bored words typed out by somebody filling space with inanity because he finds it strangely funny to fill the description text on a dating site with a short story because he presumes no one actually reads these things anyway.”
“Oh, right so Joe. I'll be off then.”
My ideal partner would be:
Sugar and spice and all things nice.
My ideal date would be:
Someone I enjoy talking to.