Online Dating, Relationship Advice Blog from AnotherFriend.com

SHOULD PRIVACY EXIST IN THE RELATIONSHIP?

2012-02-01T14:36:30-00:00

We are sharing our lives, money, homes with our partners but offen it's hard for many couples to share email passwords. Where does it come from? What are we afraid of? Is it normal rules of human privacy or a proof that we are having something to hide?

Whether or not privacy should exist in relationship can only be answered when the couple sets boundaries, revises those boundaries after time, clearly communicate, and respect each other. Ultimately, both people need to stay sane for the relationship to work. Check out the most common scenarios where privacy often comes up as an issue and when the want for privacy should be red flagged. Having a separate bank account and not giving password to it it' s ok, but if you never knew the account existed, or the person refuses to start a joint account you have to be careful.

So, hopefully, you'll get to know each other to the point where you can have this type of trust. Privacy just isn't always everything it's cracked up to be.

What do you think about it? Are you sharing all your details with your partner or you keeping some parts of your life only for you?

WHERE TO GO FOR A DATE IN THE WINTER?

2012-01-30T11:43:00-00:00

Every couple (or future couple) has a problem where to go for a date in the winter. The day is short, and very cold but even in this conditions you can have a great time with your partner.

Here are our few propositions:

1. Make a snowman or something from the snow:)
You don't have to build it to any particular specifications because this is YOUR snow whatever-it-is, and no one else has any business telling you how to masterfully sculpt it. Whether you decide to create the world's smallest snowman, a nondescript pile of fluffiness, an igloo, something more or less phallic in nature, or a life-sized replication of Westminster Abbey, it's up to you. Just have fun! (And make sure you live somewhere particularly snowy - the steppes of Russia come to mind - if you're going to try that last one).

2. Do some people-watching
This one is pretty easy to do. All you need is a well-populated area - indoors or out - and an imagination. Plop yourself down somewhere and let the games begin! Make up stories about what you think their life is like, or try to guess what they will do before they do it. Making fun of any oddballs you see isn't entirely out of the question either... just be sure to do so discreetly.

3. Have a movie night
Pick up a few movies you both will enjoy, prepare a couple packages of party mix/popcorn, etc. and you're set. Make sure you snuggle; the whole "watching a movie" experience is always better when snuggling is involved.

4. Go ice sliding
You don't have to have ice skates to have fun on the ice! Remember how you used to run and slide across the linoleum floor in the kitchen? It's basically the same thing. Just make sure you are positive that the ice is plenty thick enough to support your weight, and go have fun! If you do have ice skates, skating regularly like civilized people is also a fun and romantic thing to do.

5. Cook dinner together
It sounds cliche, I know. But have you ever given it a shot? Cooking at home is much more affordable than going out to eat, and it's also a lot more personal.

And of course you can always do common things like going to the cinema, restaurant, theatre or simply stay in bed for a whole day :)

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work?

2012-01-27T10:29:55-00:00

Keeping a relationship alive across the miles is no easy task. Here are eight strategies that can help you thrive in a long-distance relationship.

1. Define the parameters - together.

Sit down together and map out this new long-distance arrangement. For each of you, what are your concerns? How often will you visit? What about the kids? Are there domestic issues (household upkeep, car, finances, etc.) that may require a new plan? What about relationship worries, such as intimacy, jealousy and trust? Get everything out into the open from the get-go so you can both begin this new adventure on the same footing.

2. See its benefits and look at the upside.

One or both of you may feel distressed about this unwelcome separation. One way to transform your negative outlook is to "reframe" the situation. That is, try to view the long-distance relationship in a positive light. How might living apart for a finite amount of time be beneficial? For example, you'll have more time to do your own thing. You won't take each other for granted. Your reunions will be sexy and exciting. It's a vertical career move. And so on. See if you can each come up with at least three benefits.

3. Make a future plan.

Ask your partner: Where do you see us in one year? How about five years? Talk about what each of you can do, in the context of living apart, that will make this future vision come true. Having shared goals is one of the keys to a happy relationship, and doing this activity subtly reminds each of you that you're working as a team. Living in separate homes does not mean you have to lead separate lives and have separate futures.

4. Establish frequent and regular contact.

Set up regular phone or Skype dates. Communicate every day, more than once, if possible. It's critically important, when two people are unable to have physical intimacy, to maintain an emotional bond. Even if your partner isn't really a "talker," find ways to stay in touch. If she hates being on the phone, then email, text or instant message each other. Share your little triumphs and tragedies, or just something funny that happened during the day. Ask about each other's day. Get to know what a "day in the life" of your partner looks like.

5. Schedule face time.

Talking, video chatting and writing are all great. But to maintain a romantic relationship, you need to make the time to see each other face-to-face. Together, go over your work, family and other obligations and then schedule times when you'll visit. It's also important for the stay-at-home partner to visit the relocated one so that he or she has more than a verbal description of the partner's other home, city and favorite haunts.

6. Don't keep secrets.

Transparency and inclusion are the two most important defenses against jealously, suspicion, and paranoia. Tell your partner about the people in your life. Don't omit events or interactions simply because they might inspire a twinge of jealousy. It's natural that each of you will experience loneliness from time to time. But you can keep yourself from acting on it -and keep your partner from worrying that you will - by disclosing your feelings and giving lots of details about your life.

7. Be there for each other.

It's so very important for each of you to feel that the other one is there in the event of a family tragedy, a family celebration, or a personal crisis. Show her you care by flying home for her oral surgery, even though she says it's no big deal. Turn his cousin's wedding into an opportunity to relax together, even though he wasn't thinking he'd attend. Supporting each other through all those high and low points in life is reassuring to partners and strengthening for the relationship.

8. Keep reinventing the romance.

This is my favorite strategy, because it's the one that's the most fun and rewarding. Surprise your partner with a love letter or a gift. Send him a spontaneous email letting him know he's the sexiest man alive, or telling her you love her more now than the day you met her. Find creative - and frequent - ways to keep things spicy between you. Keep each other smiling!

New Home Page!

2012-01-25T10:43:00-00:00

Our Home Page has been slightly changed.

Sections: Settings, Help, Notification, Edit Profile and Logout are accessible with just one click by clicking on the Tab with your username--<a drop down list appears.

Old account manager has been changed to Settings.

From here you can check: account status, your Block List, Friend List and Favorite List. Also here you can view your profile or deactivate account.

To get back to Home page, you need to click on "My home" tab.

There is a chatter box at the bottom of the site.

The Chatter Box allows you to target a wider crowd. You can choose the age range and location of members you are interested in and send your message to 500 people with one click. You can use it to introduce yourself. We're putting examples of the message, however you can easily put your own message here.

What's important - Chatter box feature is available only once. When you send a message via this feature, list of new members in your locations appears on that place.

In case of any queries, do not hesitate to contact our team.

Enjoy visiting our site!

Worst Ways to Break Up with Someone

2012-01-23T10:57:11-00:00

We have all been there. We have all had to do it. Occasionally, a relationship just falls apart in a bad way. When that happens, you just wish you could walk away and leave it at that. Yet, you feel compelled to let the other person know that it is over instead of making them wait around in torturous silence until they figure it out months down the road without contact from you. The problem comes along though when you feel compelled to let the other person know of the break up but not compelled enough to use one of the acceptable, tried and true methods such as a quiet one on one talk or even a long telephone conversation. What are the worst ways to break up with someone?

E-mail.

Electronic mail or 'e-mail' is one of the greatest tools given to us by the Internet. Sending letters, pictures, and other documents whizzing through cyberspace to be received by someone half the world away in a matter of minutes is an amazing way to keep in touch with worldwide acquaintances and support the spread and transfer of information. Some people want to abuse this awesome power though by using its rapidness and its anonymity to sever ties with a lover as painlessly as possible. However, it ends up being just the opposite of painful for the person receiving the e-mail.

Example? Apparently the professional hockey player Jarret Stoll who plays for the L.A. Kings decided the best way to cancel his wedding to model/actress Rachel Hunter was with a mass e-mail. Less than two months before the wedding he e-mailed her and every person on their guest list to call the wedding off.

Facebook

The changing of relationship status on social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace is an important step in one's relationship life. Changing one's relationship status to 'in a relationship' is a large step as it allows every one of your friends to know you are currently taken. This is particularly key on Facebook as you generally have to send an invitation to the person with whom you are dating for approval so that their name is posted beside yours. The changing of your status back to single though is another big step after a break up. A way that people take the changing of one's relationship status back to single to a whole new level is doing it BEFORE he or she has spoken to their significant other about breaking up, thereby making Facebook the bearer of bad news.

A Public Place

While it may seem nice to take the other person out for a final nice dinner or an expensive drink, breaking up with someone in public can be seen as a very bad move. It is easy to think that the public venue will make the break-ee calmer and reserved - meaning they will not shout at you and quietly finish their dinner or drink before letting you know that they 'understand' then give you a gentle hug and goodbye. WRONG! More often than not the person, no matter how sweet and reserved they are normally, will most certainly cause a scene and all the people sitting next to your table will know of your pathetic breakup attempt and consider you to be a jerk. Having a very long, awkward wait for the check might well be the least of your problems if you choose this breakup method.

Post-It Note

The idea of putting your feelings about breaking up with someone in writing has its merits. You are able to put down your true feelings and explain everything in detail without distractions of someone butting in or forgetting things. However, breaking up with someone through a piece of paper really is not that fair to them. You don't allow them their opportunity to express their own feelings and anger at the end of the relationship. They are as justified in their own feelings as you are. Since you cared enough about their feelings to start dating them, you might as well give them a few moments to rant and wail at you when you break up with them. There is an infamous Sex and the City episode when Carrie, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, gets the boot courtesy of a Post-It note from her boyfriend of several weeks named Berger. Not even having a long explanation on a full size of paper is even worse than this impersonal way of breaking up.

Don't Murder the Messenger

Messengers for relationship news were the way of the playground. If a girl liked a boy and wanted to 'go out' with him, her friend would ask for her and vice versa. Once it was time to break up, the same method could be employed to the point where young grade school couples rarely actually talked to each other at all. However, the problem comes about when adults try to employ this childish break up method. The breaker assumes that the painful act will be easier if the breakee is approached by a friend. This method allows the breaker to avoid the shouting and the yelling as well as the fighting by having the personal touch of an actual individual tell the breakee without having to be the exact one to do it. Referring to Sex and the City again, Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) tells about how she was broken up by means of a guy's doorman as he explained the man was not coming downstairs ever. In the movie starring Catherine Zeta Jones and Julia Roberts called America's Sweethearts, the character played by Catherine Zeta Jones made her sister played by Julia Roberts break up with all of her boyfriends to the point Julia's high school yearbook quote was 'Hey, we have to talk.'

Through Text Message.

Imagine yourself receiving a text message from your partner telling you that he/she wants to break up with you. How does it feel? Isn't it outright humiliating? A dumpee who gets dumped via sms will definitely get hurt and feel like he/she was betrayed and disrespected.

More so, the person is left with a lot of unanswered questions resulting in a feeling of resentment toward his/her partner. The situation will be left hanging and the relationship will have no closure.

Despite the pain, a break up sms could be advantageous for a dumpee in the sense that the person will realize that what he/she thought was real was actually fake. There was no real relationship at all because of the fact that his/her partner does not even have the decency and courage to tell him/her personally about the break up.

For some dumpees, it is more difficult to move on from the break up because they have no idea what the heck went wrong in the relationship and they tend to dwell on the bad experience and lose their self-esteem. On the other hand, some people find receiving a break sms as an eye-opener and are even thankful to have found out that they were dating a loser. They're just glad that things are over.

And what do you think? What is the worst way to break up ?

Top ten words Irish women say to men - and what theyre really saying

2012-01-20T14:43:00-00:00

Here is a look at some choice phrase from Irish women to help you decode the true meaning of their mutterings. Most of these words ring true to the average female, but for a few we have offered an Irish twist. If you want to keep that special Irish lady happy, consult these explanations.

1. Fine:
This is the word used by women at the end of an argument, when they are normally in the right. Fine signals that the argument is over. I wouldnt try to follow it up.

2. Five Minutes:
Of course when any woman tells you five minutes, this usually means at least half an hour, especially when shes getting dressed. I know one husband who likes to sit in the car waiting and calls the house phone in an attempt to hurry his wife up, but it never works!

3. Nothing:
Of course when an Irish woman says nothing" when asked what is wrong, its far from nothing she means. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine." I know its tempting to probe when the word is uttered but better to keep your mouth shut and avoid the possible annoyance.

4. Go Ahead :
You want to cancel our dinner plans, so you can go out for a drink with the lads? Go ahead." Its a dare, not an approval. Dont cross that bold Irish woman.

5. Loud Sigh :
An Irish woman loves a good sigh, there is nothing like it. Of course this isnt a word, but it can be much more significant. A loud sigh signifies the woman is contemplating what on earth she is doing wasting her time arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to 3 for meaning of nothing)

6. That's Okay:
Of course this is a dangerous statement, is it really "Okay?" Normally not. Dependant on the tone this choice phrase is delivered in, it normally means you will need to do some damage control in the not-so-distant future.

7. Thanks:
Normally this can just mean that a woman is simply thanking you. However if she utters thanks a lot, this can mean pure sarcasm. On this occasion, dont respond with "welcome," as this could result in a whatever.

8. Whatever:
Just walk away! Shes pissed off and this could easily escalate into a burly row. Better to just cut your losses.

9. Don't worry about it, I got it:
Usually delivered after a woman has asked a man several times to do something and no action has been taken. Taking the bull by the horns, the Irish woman will get the job done herself.

10. Grand:
This is a notice of approval. Generally it means shes in agreement with you. You should welcome this turn of phrase, the lady is content.

How to write that first message?

2012-01-18T12:05:40-00:00

I am not very good at expressing myself in writing and I've been struggling to think up good stuff to write in my first messages to women on the site. I sent a few contact requests but then I just couldn't think of anything to write that doesn't sound just silly or pointless. Is there a trick to it? (Peter, 41)

There is no trick to writing a good first message to someone. Sometimes, just saying hi and that you liked someone's profile is enough.

Before sending messages, you should make sure your profile tells women enough about you so that they can tell whether or not they are interested. Writing about yourself is not easy, but Anotherfriend.com does give you plenty of handy boxes to fill, so you don't need to think too hard about what sort of things to include. If your profile is detailed, you wont need to try too hard with your first message. The woman will look at your profile and, if she wants to know more about you, will keep the conversation going.

If you want to make your first message to someone more relevant, take a good look at her profile and think about what it was that made you want to contact her. Maybe it was your high compatibility rating, or the fact that she's visited a country you've spent a lot of time in. Maybe you even share a hobby or an interest. Any of these things could be a conversation starter. You could mention it in your message and ask her some questions about it. One or two will suffice. It's generally best to keep the first message pretty short. After a few more messages, you could mention the fact that you don't like communicating online very much and see if you can speak on the phone instead. You could even suggest meeting up, if you both feel ready.

Good Luck and Happy Dating!

Five bad online dating photos

2012-01-16T11:03:00-00:00

Choosing the right photos for your online dating profile can be a real chore, but not with our support :)

Below are five of the most common mistakes people make when choosing online dating profile pictures. Are you guilty of any of these?

Group shots

You want to make life as easy as possible for people looking at your profile, so keep things simple and only have pictures of yourself. Specific photos to avoid are ones of you with your ex, ones featuring attractive friends of the same sex or photos of you with children or pets. Photos where the other person has been blatantly cut out are also to be avoided at all cost. They just look wrong.

Hidden face shots

The whole point of putting up a picture on a dating site is to show people what you look like. Pictures where youre half hidden behind something may be artistic and flattering, but in the online dating world they are annoying and even slightly suspicious what is this person hiding? Photos that show you wearing sunglasses, big hats or other coverings that prevent your face from being seen fall under this category.

Silly face shots

You may well want to show your fun and playful side to potential partners, but remember that your main objective is to look appealing (this is true for both men and women!). Funny expressions or photos where you are blatantly drunk are in no way attractive and they can and will cost you some dates.

Posed makeover shots

Having a good photo in your profile is important and if you have to pay someone to take that photo, then its far preferable than having a bad webcam shot on there. On the other hand, posing or looking blatantly overly made up can make people think youre A. desperate or B. unattractive and in need of help to look good. Opt instead for casual and natural looking photos no special lighting, makeup, backgrounds or poses.

Sexy shots

If youre serious about finding love (and not just sex), youll want to keep the seductive shots out of your profile. Apart from sometimes having the opposite effect, they also send the wrong message about what you want. Both men and women are often guilty of trying too hard to show off their bodies. Obviously, on respectable dating sites, nudity is not allowed. But even the subtler six-pack shots, leaning-into-the-camera cleavage shots or booty shots are likely to do more harm than good.

I think we just need to admit it !

2012-01-13T10:22:55-00:00

My today's article was inspired by one of the episodes of 'Let's talk about love' by Niecy Nash.

She lists the 5 biggest mistakes ladies make in modern dating. At first I thought it's gonna be another complicated tactic that we have to implement while going out 'hunting' but I was wrong.

We've discussed it with my girl friends and all of us agreed on the following that we just can't control:

#5- Walk in the truth, a lot of us are simply affraid to talk about our needs, believes, or what are our future plans and if the partner is included in them but maybe he/she doesn't know about that and we leave it that way?

#4-Date a man who wants the same thing you want, at the begining we need to make a little research. Ask random questions about the idea of having kids, marriage etc. It's just an example every lady knows what is her main field of interest, BUT if every answer to your questions is totally different than what you think, that grab you bag and leave before both of you will make a mess in each other's lives as no one would want to compromise.

#3-Date for your priority not your preference, we can't help looking for a dark hair George Clooney type, cause it's all about looks, but sometimes we need to go deeper than that, maybe the blonde guy has a lot more to offer in the romance,huh?

#2-Stop the drama, if we wan't it or not, we are drama queens and 99% of guys who are not long-term husbands are affraid of the dramas and tears, so we simply need to start controling that part.

#1-Be what you want to see, if you want your partner to support your hobbies and interests than support his hobbies and interests. Buy tickets for a sports event or order a football game on the cable TV. If you wanna go out with the girls, let him have a guys night out. It all needs to be equal to make a harmony.

These are my today's thought, simple,short but I think worth considering.

If you don't work than this relationship won't work either!

2012-01-10T07:56:50-00:00

We should start with the fact that the current unemployment rate is over 12%, which means that if you already have a job you respect it and do whatever you can to maintain it.

I've been inspired to start this topic by one of my friends, she told me about her relationship were she is the one actually working and her boyfriend is constantly on the couch watching MTV. Everyday the daily news feeds us with the info regarding financial crisis and it should be a motivation for us to go out there and do our best not be left out. Therefore we you're a working professional and come home after 12 hours of working and find a 29 years old male on the couch as you left him in the morning you have all the rights to be annoyed! I'm not saying that this problems touches only the ladies, I'm sure guys can experience the same but I just wanted to show the sense of this whole situation.

You gain experience, meet new people and have a totaly different view on certain things. You hear from your friends about the new apratments or houses they are willing to buy splitting the mortgage between her and her partner and you get even more confused.

In the current economic climate we my say that being unemployed equals- assistance and financial support, but what if you don't actually need the assistance, you just want to sit around because it's easier than work or run from one interview to another.

If you don't see your partner doing the best he/she can to find a job and improve your household budget that the love crisis begins and is increasing every day. Your daily routines are different, you have the right to be tired, you don't have common topics, you simply don't have the support as the other person does not understand.

I only wish to highlight that we are analyzing the situation in which the person does not want to find job, which means finding the easiest way to survive.

I'm not sure how to sum this situation up but I just have the feeling that the relationship may not survive if both of the sides do not face the same day to day problems.

Foods of Love Aphrodisiacs in your Kitchen

2012-01-04T10:12:00-00:00

The key to more romance may lie closer than you think-in the food you eat every day.

By defition, an aphrodisiac is a substance that increases sexual desire. Aphrodisiacs are named after Aphrodite, the ancient Greek goddess of sexual love and beauty. Aphrodisiacs have a powerful impact on the mind as they are thought to trigger the release of chemicals in the brain which then stimulate certain organs. If you are cooking something at home, make sure some of these selections below are on the list.

Avocado

The avocado tree was called a "testicle tree" by the Aztecs because its fruit hangs in pairs on the tree, resembling the male testicles. Its aphrodisiac value is based on this resemblance.

Basil

For centuries, people said that basil stimulated the sex drive and boosted fertility as well as producing a general sense of well being. The scent of basil was said to drive men wild -- so much so that women would dust their breasts with dried and powdered basil. Basil is one of the many reported aphrodisiacs that may have the property of promoting circulation.

Bananas

In addition to the phallic shape of the banana itself, the banana flower also has a phallic shape. Bananas are rich in potassium and B vitamins, which are said to be necessary for sex-hormone production.

Cardamom

Cardamom is an aromatic spice. Certain cultures deem it a powerful aphrodisiac and also claim it is beneficial in treating impotence. It is high in cineole, which can increase blood flow in areas where it is applied.

Chocolate

Chocolate has forever been associated with love and romance. It was originally found in the South American rainforests. The Mayan civilizations worshipped the Cacao tree and called it "food of the gods." Rumour has it that the Aztec ruler Montezuma drank 50 goblets of chocolate each day to enhance his sexual abilities.

Researchers have studied chocolate and found it to contain phenylethylamine and serotonin, which are both "feel good" chemicals. They occur naturally in our bodies and are released by our brains when we are happy or feeling loving or passionate. It produces a euphoric feeling, like when you're in love.

Chili peppers

Eating chili peppers generates physiological responses in our bodies (e.g., sweating, increased heart rate and circulation) that are similar to those experienced when having sex. The capsaicin they contain is responsible for the effects and is also a good pain reliever.

Honey

In medieval times, people drank mead, a fermented drink made from honey, to promote sexual desire. In ancient Persia, couples drank mead every day for a month (known as the "honey month" -- a.k.a. "honeymoon") after they married in order to get in the right frame of mind for a successful marriage. Honey is rich in B vitamins (needed for testosterone production) as well as boron (helps the body metabolize and use estrogen). Some studies have suggested that it may also enhance blood levels of testosterone.

Garlic

Long ago, Tibetan monks were not allowed to enter the monastery if they had been eating garlic because of its reputation for stirring up passions. Garlic increases circulation.

Nutmeg

In ancient China, women prized nutmeg an aphrodisiac, and researchers have found it to increase mating behaviours in mice. There is no evidence to prove the same happens in humans. In quantity, nutmeg can produce a hallucinogenic effect.

Ginger

People have deemed ginger root an aphrodisiac for centuries because of its scent and because it stimulates the circulatory system.

Papaya

Papaya (like aniseed) is estrogenic, meaning it has compounds that act as the female hormone estrogen. It has been used as a folk remedy in promoting menstruation and milk production, facilitating childbirth and increasing the female libido.

Oysters

Oysters have long been thought to have aphrodisiac properties, but very few studies have been conducted on the matter.

One thing that brings credibility to the oyster myth is the fact that these slippery critters are full of zinc. Zinc controls progesterone levels, which have a positive effect on the libido. Zinc deficiency can cause impotence in men, so any food rich in zinc is considered an aphrodisiac in that respect, and oysters happen to be loaded with the mineral.

The next time you are cooking, you may want to take a closer look at some of the ingredients you are using. You never know when you are going to unknowingly bump into something that may set you and the others eating your cooking in the mood.

Finding Mr. Right

2012-01-02T12:16:00-00:00

Does Mr. Right exist? Is he out there somewhere? Will I find him?

Mr. Right is a key subject for many women and an inspiration of hope on a daily basis. Yes, probably exists Yes, he is probably your match. Yes, you WILL find him! Of course in all our lives we have goals, aims, ambitions and desires small and large. It is these landmarks and goalposts that keep us positive and busy. It is what makes us human. In recent years the terms Mr. Right and Miss Right have become over used and clichéd. It is almost as if we have a chart on our wall, an extensive check list or a resume of specifics that the person in question must submit to get his foot through the door of the "potentials" interview.

Most of us would deny we are pushing away Mr. Right as we hope that chance will take a hand in bringing Mr. Right to us. Many of us accept that we have a small but insignificant "list" and yes, we accept that there are some requirements on it which are nonnegotiable, but they are fairly minor. Or are they? The fact of the matter is that as the decades have passed by, we have become far more sophisticated, as humans, as individuals, as lovers and mates. We are adults, we have a good salary and a nice home and are well educated in the ways of the world. Therefore it is only fair that we seek someone to match, to fit in, to adapt, to accompany, to facilitate, right? Therein lays the issue.

The fact is that Mr. Right also has a check list, of his wishes and needs, only a small one of course, but a list all the same, and he is ticking off your assets as we speak. He wants someone young, someone well educated, someone good looking and in shape. We are indignant, how shallow we cry. Typical man we sigh. Yet are we any better? Look at your list and look very carefully at what or who constitutes your Mr. Right. And then look again. Are you sure first of all that your tick list is achievable? Yes, or are you willing to negotiate? Okay so you are happy with your list. Then what?

Are you willing to go out and get your Mr. Right or are you waiting for him to come to you? Many women tell me they are waiting for Mr. Right. The word "waiting" concerns me. By waiting it means men come to you by chance, perhaps by design and you tick off their assets, your check them out and then cast off anyone who doesn't match your list. Maybe you do, but remember this my friends, Mr. Right is looking for his Miss Right? How much work have you put into being Miss Right or should he accept you as you are and fit in around you? If he did slot in to your life would he really be Mr. Right or an accouterment, an asset, a trinket that you would get bored of?

The thing I am asked by eligible men more than anything these days is, "where have all the nice girls gone". Think about those words carefully. These men are not asking where the doormats went, the meek mice, the housewife slaves. Not at all. No what they are asking is where all the women went who don't have a huge checklist as long as their arms. Most men simply want someone to love, someone who they can dote on in their own ways and who they can feel special and share with. The problem for them is that they are not finding it because they are constantly under the pressure of womens check lists. They are told they must adapt and fit in, they are trying to fulfill their part of the list bargain and then they are faced with the Miss Rights out there.

As a potential Miss Right you owe it to yourself to complete a few tasks. Take a long, hard look at your list and ask yourself exactly how flexible you are being. Secondly look at who your Mr. Right is and how truthfully obtainable they are. Thirdly, don't kid yourself about your own potentials but don't compromise on ideals either. Fourthly, bring yourself out into the open and go after your Mr. Right.

Don't play the waiting game because you do not want to spend the rest of your life knowing your Mr. Perfect is married to someone else when he could have been yours. And finally, compromise is the key in reality, for all the things Mr. Right must be, try and balance that with attempting to be something your Mr. Right doesn't want to miss.

Christmas Dating Tips

2011-12-23T08:36:00-00:00

With the holiday season now upon us, we decided to share some tips for Christmas dating. Christmas is a time of joy, giving, and family; and if you are starting a new relationship, a time of confusion and uncertainty. Should you exchange gifts, bring them to meet the family, and what about the company party? Relax, and read on, for we are going to give you a good baseline to help you make those decisions without putting any additional stress on yourself, or your new relationship.

Christmas dating tip - Gifts:

Depending on how many dates you have been on before Christmas comes, will determine if you should present them with a gift, and how much you should spend on it if you do. Since this is the season for giving, it is appropriate to give your new potential a gift. If you only have a couple of dates under your belt, then don't be lavish with the giving. Keep the gift reasonable, and make it something you would enjoy together. Music, games, videos, and the like are reasonable gifts for the new dating couple. By keeping the gift in the realm of something you would enjoy together, there is less of a chance of someone getting nervous about rushing into things. Try to keep the gift around or under 20.00 euro if you have only had a couple of dates, even if the romance is building strongly. Now, if you have already decided to see each other exclusively, then you definitely need to present them with a gift. Just keep the value reasonable and in relation to the way the romance has progressed.

Don't expect anything from the other person if the relationship is very new. Keep in mind; they are likely to be unsure of the proper etiquette for new couples as well. Besides, it is a time for giving, not receiving. There is no need to over complicate a budding relationship by questioning the act of not giving to you when you gave to them. Now if they don't get you something next Christmas, then you can start to wonder what is wrong with them. Don't over think things, keep your brain out of the picture, and allow the relationship to progress without you getting in the way.

Christmas dating tip - Family get together:

Remember one thing when it comes to family and your new date. Introducing someone to your family means this is serious. If you have just started dating, and are not sure where this relationship will go, then don't make plans with them including your family. This will add undue stress to your relationship, date, and family too. Instead make a plan to see each other after both of you do the family thing. Remember, this time of year is confusing for both of you, and false assumptions can be made from good intentions. It is best to not over complicate the issue, and just follow the family = serious relationship guideline. This will keep anyone from assuming anything incorrectly

Christmas dating tip - Company party:

When it comes to your work, you should follow the family rule. The only exception would be if your date is outgoing enough to survive without your undivided attention, and they know people you work with, and your company is pretty laid back. If all of those prerequisites can be met, then go ahead and bring them to your company Christmas party. If any of those items are not the case, then play it safe, and don't bring up the company party invitation to them. If you follow those guidelines, then you are safe.

Just remember, that even though you may follow these tips, your new date may not know what is proper themselves. Just accept what happens as it happens, and don't judge, or come to any conclusions. Let your new relationship bloom into something if it is going to on its own. Don't be in a rush, and don't over think things. Enjoy the holidays together and have fun.

Psychology of TRUE LOVE and the Path to Find Soul Mate for a Life Time

2011-12-21T09:30:00-00:00

First of all, to find a life time soul/love mate is one of the toughest realizations in a human's life! So be ready for tests and disappointments, and forget that you could get it just like this by blinking with your eyes, saying something smart or looking attractive! There comes a moment and you definitely understand for yourself that this is what you really want - a true and one companion in your life forever in everything you could do together - love, obligations, entertainment, family life, travel, development, suffering, support, advice, growth, passion, relaxation etc. Only a complete devotion could lead you in the right direction. You might come to such decision after not being happy how you wanted it to be, after several tries of failed romances, or because of your clear principles, which is something very rare nowadays but still happening. Otherwise, if having tens of relationships of different duration, quality and guaranteed break ups - is something that suits you best in your life, than you could just bother from curiosity and read further what other people can chose to do in their life.

Yes, the excessive diversity of 'flavors' give you lots of impressions, experiences but their inferior and often illusory nature leaves you empty and alone, again and again. And how long or can you always be satisfied only with the 'flavors'?

A veritable wine can be served only in a special wine glass and its taste remains with you forever only if consolidated with a true feeling, a true kiss ...

We dream of somebody who would make us happy and vice versa, somebody who would be maximum matching to our personality and this leads to creation of a desirable character in our minds.

Besides our parents that give us the grounds of understanding, we meet and get to know people both by their exterior and interior, their actions and appearance, perceive different knowledge, impressions, events and feelings. All these form in our minds and our hearts prototypes of life behaviors, which determine us to like or dislike, approve or disapprove, admire or reject etc, and all these are about people around us. That's why we like some people and reach for them and try to avoid others. These basic prototypes are our individual principles and morality, and they are the basic link in a lasting relationship, because these principles must definitely coincide with the other person's when founding a couple.

You might feel that you're attracted to a person that has some opposite, inappropriate or dangerous features but it will never mean that you'll be comfortable with this person, you'll be in love with him\her and be happy in a longer term - no, you're just attracted because everything that's unknown and challenging attracts us, until we try it. So, it doesn't mean you should get into romance with him/her because of that, you could be friends or just an acquaintance & or just somebody that passes by and you could still receive valuable experience.

You can combine ice-cream with chocolate or ice-cream with strawberry but you don't mix ice-cream with ketchup, although you like it in general and because ketchup is good with something else. The only thing you can do is try to mix the unsuitable just to see how it is but you'll always like and repeatedly prefer the perfect combinations, the matching elements because in fact this is what makes us feel satisfied and all-sufficient.

A paradox, but only a perfect match, someone exterior matching in the best way to you can make you feel complete! Both partners should be different and that's how ice-cream and strawberry are - different, but they harmonize perfectly! They are on a global scale interchange and equilibrium

How can you know that a person can be right for you? Of course, the answer is - only by getting to know each other very deeply, enough as to make the most important conclusions about him/her and whether to go further already into a beautiful love relationship or stop at being just friends. Otherwise how can you fall in love with somebody for true if his/her personality doesn't inspire you, doesn't bring you joy and approval of your heart and mind - you can't. It should be someone you consider and feel to be good, amazing, interesting, appealing to you soundly, because in determination/definition of true love always should be considered inner qualities first and then plus exterior in an ensemble, although first are your eyes and senses that observe the person...

What about love at first sight? Or how can you know this from just one sight? - You can't and this is the answer! Time, time and again - time together with common experience! You can like or feel attraction to someone but that's it, all positive emotions you feel in that very moment are only presumable and can be confirmed or not while learning each other in time. And if everything goes just great between you two, you start to think that it was love from first sight, which in fact wasn't but because of the positive evolution became to be analyzed so. And you like the feeling of thinking that you were right by your intuition and sometimes it is exactly like this.

Being ready and wanting a lasting relationship with a life time love mate is a deliberate, serious and responsible decision and it takes at least a moulded individuality, with understanding of inner aspirations and principles in life and consequently certain expectations from this relationship and from future couple. So, logically it is an adult perception of the subject besides romantic emotions. Becoming an adult in this sense comprises different ages but rather elder than younger

By thinking and forming in your mind a desirable love matching character you indirectly influence the world around you and create circumstances to meet this person and to be matched. The more you sincerely believe, and like I said earlier are fully devoted, the bigger are your chances in it. You created the intuition and it led you to the right direction, it led you to notice and to meet someone really important.

So, only by learning about each other you can become sure whether you found the perfect love partner or not. And time is inevitable here, months and may be years, and all life situations you live together or share are good to show and to reveal what's inside of a person

And frankness should be your strategy! Only in this way you can get the necessary impression and understanding, a realistic picture of that person. Sometimes it's hard to be open, but in spite of this you should aim to attain sincerity in your relationship and therefore trust. And that is the right way in the process if making decisions.

Don't try to be someone you're not, someone else, try to be you, be open and find a love match that will love you for what you are!

By the way, did you know that a lot of bird species like: peregrine falcon, some kinds of parrots, swans, kiwis, European nuthatches, ember-geese, swallows, swifts, gray geese, ravens, cranes, storks, some penguins etc - are forming couples for life!

And according to Chinese customs and Feng Shui Mandarin Duck is a symbol of matrimonial fidelity. And these birds just look fantastic!

We should reach only for something and somebody that would do good to us. And this good is that basic link between the love mates which coincides in the mind and heart of both partners, this makes the connection to be strong and indestructible, helpful and efficient all the time in their mutual contacting and when contacting with the world.

And I should mention that being together a strong couple going through life also supposes self perfection from both partners, because, naturally it will be a development in different directions and senses, so both partners should be flexible to become better.True love is a well-founded phenomenon in all possible dimensions, and here are the basic guidelines in conclusion for a lasting couple, each element is just as important as the others:

1. A moulded individuality, with understanding of inner aspirations and principles in life.
2. Time
3. Frankness, listening, free expression both in thinking and feeling
4. Joint experience
5. Conformity in basic and important life principles and morality
6. Devotion and passion
7. Sympathy to appearance
8. Self improving and flexibility
9. Self and couple responsibility

I really hope that all this will be of help for you or just interesting to read! Good luck!

How to Get a Date?

2011-12-19T13:24:15-00:00

Very few people want to be alone, so why are you?

Perhaps you are perfectly happy being single but if you are reading this post then it might be a hint to yourself that you are ready to date again.

If you have reached the 'I'll never meet anyone' stage or you seem un-dateable, you have to figure out why before you should start looking for a date.

There are various elements that involve how to successfully get a date. Lets explore a few of these options in more detail below.

Would You Want to Go Out With Yourself?

Take a good deep look at yourself. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. Are you ready to date again? You may have gone through a divorce or a really harsh break up, so you may not be ready to move on emotionally and invest that many feelings into one person again. Are you afraid of relationships or love? Physically, you may have given up on your appearances because you feel like you are un-dateable. If you are looking to get over your ex, doing physical activity will not just make you feel better about yourself but it will also help you to meet new people. By meeting new friends you will start letting go of your emotional problems and stress, this will start gearing your attention towards dating and finding someone new in your life.

Do You Want Someone to Approach You?

After you decide you are ready to date again and begin feeling confident people will begin to notice, because self confidence is always an attractive quality. When people begin to notice you and pay you attention how are you responding? Does your body language say 'Hey, come on over' or is it saying 'Not interested in the slightest'? When someone shows a slight interest in you, your body language must be able to respond. Without a flash of a smile or a playful nod of the head, people will be afraid to approach you. The best way to overcome this is by testing out the waters. Start smiling, laughing and inviting people into your life, even if it's just as new friends. This will help you to practice in order to snag yourself a date.

Remember Who You Are Talking to

Men and women communicate differently. If you are talking to a man, do not pretend he is your best girl friend. You may talk his ear off so much that he forgets to even ask you out. If you are talking to a woman, you have to remember that she likes it if you take an interest in her. If you seem uninterested in what she has to say, there is little reason for her to take this conversation to the next level. Communication is key, so remember who you are talking to and how you should speak to them in order to get a first or second date.

Do You Want to Date?

Your will to date will answer whether or not you want to date. You may say you want to but in reality you are not even putting yourself out there to date. You must make yourself available in order for people to realize that you are on the market. Start going out with friends, take up a new course or start a new physical activity to start getting yourself out there. Online dating will help you tremendously to get a date when you do not have the time to start joining new activities but don't get stuck in the rut of hiding behind your keyboard, online dating is only a spring board to a real date and is not in itself a relationship.

When you are flirting with someone that you would like to go out with, remember to be yourself and be honest. Within a few minutes you will realize that your Friday night movie at your house just became a dinner date for two!

8 first date ideas for outdoorsy types

2011-12-16T09:18:39-00:00

If you're looking for something a bit more original than the typical "dinner and a movie," more power to you.

Hiking the trails - The big secret about hiking that no one tells you is that it's really just walking by another name. Find a shaded trail in your neck of the woods and invite her along for the ride. The scenery will provide a welcome distraction while you two get to know each other.
Rock climbing - This one requires some planning, as the two of you will need to take an intro class if you're not skilled climbers. Still, there are plenty of gyms that offer affordable introductions, and you usually get your own instructor. Develop trust by belaying each other, then satisfy your post-climbing appetites by grabbing some food.
A picnic in the park - A classic first-date outing, it's hard to go wrong with a blanket, a picnic basket, and some home-made treats. Let your thoughtfulness shine through, then seal the deal with a PB&J.

Horseback riding - At the risk of generalizing, women love horses. Whether it's the "white knight" angle or just the excitement of sitting atop an animal several times your size, horseback riding lessons, or even a tour la cheval, will up the romance factor of any outing.
Kayaking - For those lucky enough to live near a body of water, why not rent a kayak (yes, just one, gentlemen ... you do the paddling) and float around? While swimming is probably a little much (she'd likely prefer not to be nearly-naked the first time the two of you hang out), the water is the perfect place to see sparks.
Skydiving - If you've got a daredevil on your hands, you'll create a lifelong bond by leaping out of a plane, hand in hand. Not for the faint of heart, it's an unbelievable rush - and the thrill of touching back down on the sweet, solid earth is sure to bring you two closer together.
Riding bikes - Looking for something a bit tamer? Scope out the city on two wheels. If you're serious about wooing this one, you might even consider renting a tandem bike. It's a risk, and possibly a bit on the cheesy side, but it's hard to deny the appeal of "a bicycle built for two."
Camping - It might be a stretch for a first date, but if you're really jonesing for an outdoor adventure, throw a tent in the truck and whisk her away to a secluded spot. Pros: No TV, menu-perusing, or snotty waiters to distract you. Cons: bears!

FLIRTING ART

2011-12-14T10:11:00-00:00

Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: it is a universal and essential aspect of human interaction. Anthropological research shows that flirting is to be found, in some form, in all cultures and societies around the world.

Flirting is a basic instinct, part of human nature. This is not surprising: if we did not initiate contact and express interest in members of the opposite sex, we would not progress to reproduction, and the human species would become extinct.

According to some evolutionary psychologists, flirting may even be the foundation of civilisation as we know it. They argue that the large human brain our superior intelligence, complex language, everything that distinguishes us from animals is the equivalent of the peacock's tail: a courtship device evolved to attract and retain sexual partners. Our achievements in everything from art to rocket science may be merely a side-effect of the essential ability to charm.

Few steps of flirting:

1) Lower your expectations. Flirting is fun, but only if you don't take it too seriously. If you always go in to flirting expecting to date or even marry the person you're flirting with, you're going to be very disappointed-and you'll probably seem a little desperate. Remember, you're just flirting.

2) Look approachable. Relax and smile. Use your body language to give signals that you are the fun person that you are, and to show that you're comfortable and confident.

3) Initiate a conversation with the person you're interested in. If you don't already know them simply start a small talk. Perhaps the best way to strike up a conversation is to start with a simple observation which ends with a question: "Nice day, isn't it?" or "This place sure is packed, eh?" are just a couple examples. What you say isn't important. You don't really need an answer to the question; you are simply inviting the person to talk with you. If the person responds pleasantly, continue the conversation. If the person doesn't respond or seems preoccupied or disinterested, he or she probably isn't interested in flirting with you. At the beginning of the conversation, you don't want to talk about anything personal. Talk about the environment around you, the show you just saw, etc., but don't talk much about yourself and don't ask the other person personal questions.

4) Close the deal. Most flirting is just harmless fun, and nothing will ever come of it. Every now and then, though, you'll meet someone who you'd like to see again and who you think would also like to see you again. Flirting is, after all, a type of courting ritual, a way to meet potential boyfriends or girlfriends, maybe even your future spouse. Don't worry about wedding plans just yet, though; start by getting the person's phone number. For most people, this is the hard part, because you have to actually make your intentions known, and in doing so you risk rejection. Be brave. Tell the person you'd like to see him or her again, and just ask for their phone number or, if it feels right, try to set up a date for some future time. If the person isn't interested, don't sweat it. There'll always be another guy or girl to flirt with.

Tips for Safe and Successful Online Relationships

2011-12-12T15:48:38-00:00

You may wish to make and meet a new friend. Your main interest may be in dating online or dating in person, you may wish to find love and romance, perhaps the person you dream of marrying. It could be that you wish to travel or play sport or an activity and need a companion or other activity partner to come along.

Okay, so what can you do to help yourself?

First you need to get replies to your emails and messages. Here are some tips you may find helpful:

Think about how your profile is written. Ensure there are NO spelling mistakes in your profile or your emails and messages.
Be completely honest. If you are not being truthful then when you meet, you will be discovered, if not before.
Add fun and humor to your profile, and don't be too serious at first.
Don't be afraid to state who you wish to meet and why. Most adults know the kind of person they are attracted to, even if they are not sure why.
Tell people what you like and perhaps things you don't. Don't be offensive though.
Change and edit your profile occasionally to keep it fresh, and try to be original.
Add a photo to your profile. We find that a member with a photo can get anything up to 9 times the amount of replies, in comparison with those that do not include one.
Be polite with messaging, and dont make judgments about the length of time to get a reply.
Please dont feel you need to block someone just because they are too busy to chat this time. Be cool.
Keep your first email short and to the point, perhaps humorous and interesting. Don't include too much detail at this point, and just a few things that you have in common. Make the email talkative and allow it to flow. Don't be too serious at this stage or too emotional.
Try and contact a few people at the same time, but always those who you have matched, not those who you have nothing in common with as they will not welcome your contact.
Be honest and stick to the truth. It is all too easy to add things that at this stage are not checkable. However, you may get caught out later and ruin a fantastic friendship or romance.
Always reply quite quickly to any messages.
Don't talk about money or possessions at this time. Most people like or love someone for who they are, not what they have. We assume you do not want to find someone who simply wants you for what you can provide.
Do not apply any form of pressure in an email, whether it be for a reply or a meeting. Do not be critical of their profile or photo. This will create a negative response.
Once you have mailed other members and are receiving their emails, then you may wish to consider the following:

Listen to Your Intuition

Don't overlook any gut feelings that come your way. Intuition is the thing we all use on a daily basis and we all trust our intuition often. Its easy to get carried away when someone appears to be interested. Remember the rule, if you suspect something, you are probably correct. Trust your judgment. Listen to what you are being told. Ask many questions. Don't give too many details away if the other person tells you very little. If someone is being honest, they will be happy to tell you about themselves and their lives.

A key point is to make sure that you are enjoying your online dating. Never ever let someone pressure you. If you don't want to explain something or provide certain details then do not. A real friend will behave in a patient and relaxed way. After receiving an email, sit back and think about what you are being told, take your time and try and sense the person behind the email. And read their profile thoroughly.

When the Time Comes
At some point you may wish to meet in person the friend you have made. Remember the rule, you only have to meet someone if you really want to. If you feel uncomfortable about meeting, then don't agree to meet. Even if you have agreed, you can change your mind whenever you like. Perhaps you need to chat for longer, perhaps it would be better to use the phone first.

If you do decide it's time to take your friendship a step further, then here are some things to think about. It may save you a great deal of time and effort:

Ask yourself these questions:

Do you feel you know the person well?
'Have they answered all your questions?
Are they patient, good humored and fun?
Do you trust them?
Have they applied any pressure on you?
Do you know what they do for a living, and the area they live in?
Do you know about their background and family?
Have you seen their photo and have you more than one photo of them in different situations?
Have you spoken on the phone?
Are you sure they have described themselves truthfully?

If you can answer YES to these happily then maybe it is time to meet. Only you can decide that. Think about these general dating rules, and act upon them if you think they are a good idea :-

Tell a person close to you about the meeting. Tell them where you are going, when you are meeting them, where the meeting will take place, what time you will be returning. Give a person close to you as much information as you can. If you have a mobile phone or are close to a pay phone then perhaps call to say you are fine and that everything is great.

Agree to meet in a public place first. Perhaps a restaurant or bar or somewhere where there are plenty of other people. Agree to meet somewhere that you know, in familiar surroundings where you can relax and enjoy the meeting. You could arrange to have other friends in the same place but at a distance, so you feel more relaxed.

Do not agree to be collected from work or home, and make your own way there and home on the first occasion. Perhaps get a friend to take you there and collect you afterwards.

Restrict the time of the first meeting. Perhaps a lunch hour or a short time after work. This is useful if you decide that the situation is not favorable and you need to leave.

If at any point you wish to leave then do so. Do not feel obliged to stay and find yourself feeling awkward. If you do not feel relaxed then you will not enjoy the date. You owe it to yourself to feel happy and relaxed, and it is possible that it may take a few meetings with different people before you find that special person.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line? Be yourself and enjoy your dating. We know that online dating can be great fun, safe and immensely enjoyable. We have found that as long as the basic precautions are followed, then it is possible to travel locally, or indeed, anywhere in the world to meet a special partner or make new friends. The beauty of dating online is that the whole world is open to allow you to meet fantastic new people. Just use a little intuition and common sense. We hope you don't mind us offering some basic tips and wish you every success.

Is long distance relationship possible?

2011-12-09T15:51:07-00:00

If your soulmate is no further than a subway ride away, consider yourself lucky. But if not, then you're among the multitude of people who are trying to make long -distance relationships work. You might think it's an impossible task, and would never commit to a person in a different suburb than you, but tell that to the many love-seekers who rely on the phone, computer and frequent flyer points to make their romances work.

Never decide on long distance relationship if you are needy in your relationship. Some people need more attention and affection more than others, if you are a needy person better find someone in your location.

Having a lengthy distance relationship is stressful at times, it demands patience. When you have decided that you're going to keep it in location and that you'll be there for every other no matter how far apart you're, then you should congratulate your self for being mature sufficient to deal with it and all that comes with it.

There are numerous turns and twists and you should practice to be patient although you wait for your time to be together once more. You may invest a wonderful deal of time missing your beloved and thinking about what that beloved individual is performing every moment of the day. You'll have to go by means of moments in your life that are memorable.

You'll invest time stressing over the list of "what if's."Having a long distance relationship is never an effortless job. Remember that if you're both able to work via the challenging obstacles, then you'll discover the happiness that you deserve. When you're able to finally reunite, all of the pain and struggle will fade away. The pain that you experienced when you said excellent bye will usually be there as well.

For couples that are involved in long distance relationships, each and every single minute of time spent with their love is stunning. There are numerous people that are living wonderful lives together after spending time in lengthy distance relationships.

FEW TIPS HOW TO BUILD TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP

2011-12-07T09:21:29-00:00

Trust is built on a foundation of emotional safety. The world can be a chaotic and scary place, yet the environment of a relationship should be safe. Abuse of any kind - emotional, verbal, sexual or physical - should not be tolerated under any circumstance.

Many couples end up splitting for the simple reason that they lack trust. Trusting your partner with regards to everything be it finances, not cheating on you etc is developed over a period of time. Its obviously foolish to trust someone blindly but if you have been in a relationship with someone for more than a year then its about time that you work on your trust factor.

Today we would like to present a few advices how to build trust in your relationship.

Make Each Other Feel Good

People are drawn to those who are a source of pleasure, and tend to withdraw from those who are a source of pain. Trust grows much more easily when couples work to please each other. This idea is based on the fact that no one - not a therapist, a friend or a clergy-person - has the power to change another human being. However, everyone has the power to change themselves. The couples that experience more success tend to be the ones who focus on their own issues and shortcomings, and work to become the best partner possible. Those who are caught in a cycle of finger-pointing and blame only make their partner feel like a failure. She then pulls away, and the negative cycle worsens.

Talk about anything that bothers you

Your partner should feel that they can trust you and the best way to start making them feel so is by confiding in them first. They will more often than not reciprocate that by sharing their own problems with you over a period of time.

Be truthful

Unless you're planning a surprise party for your spouse, you should never lie to your husband or wife. Even small lies such as saying youre working late when you're shooting pool with your friends - are a bad idea. You'll likely get caught in the lie, and suddenly your spouse will be wondering what else you're lying about.

Be fair

Don't let your partner pay for the sins of your exes. If you had unfaithful or dishonest exes, you should have worked that out with them. Your spouse is his or her own person and has already chosen to commit to a life with you. He or she should be judged on his or her own actions.

I know that's hard but. .

It's normal for people to feel jealous when their partner is showing more attention to someone else from the opposite sex. But, in your case, develop the element of trust by acting natural. Tell yourself that the two of them are just talking so it doesn't matter.

The Top 10 Worst Things You Can Say on a First Date

2011-12-05T14:07:00-00:00

Monday's a tough day so let's put some light in it! We're giving you the 10 worst things a man can say on a first date:

10) That was your sister? She has really big ta-ta's for a 16 year old.

9) This has been the most stimulating 15 minutes of conversation I've ever had. What are you doing for the rest of your life baby?

8) It's a real miracle drug I'm on now. I couldn't go through a day without it.

7) I'm so glad you agreed to go out with me. I just started using Viagra and I've been wanting to see how well it works...

6) I asked you out because you look so much like my last girlfriend. I still think about her all the time and being with you is almost as good as being with her.

5) I'm glad we're going out. I got 8 kids at home that need a new mama.

4) Man your friend looked incredible! Can I have her number just in case things don't work out tonight?

3) How much money do you have in your wallet?

2) When you date as many prostitutes, strippers, and junkies as I do it's nice to finally be going out with a classy woman like you!

1) That Big Mac and fries cost �5.24. That means we chip in �2.62 each, or you can give �3 if you don't have any change.

What's your worst first date chat up line?

'Divorce changes lives and can be painful. '

2011-12-02T10:35:00-00:00

When the last asset has been divided, the alimony or child support settled, and the emotional scars of the divorce finally begin to fade you may start to feel things you haven't felt in quite some time.

When you do start to see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel ready to go out and start dating again, you may have some questions, here we present a few tips wich may help you.

BE SURE THAT YOU ARE READY TO START A NEW RELATIONSHIP

Finding yourself single after a long relationship gives a great opportunity for self-discovery. Now that you are no longer half of a couple, take this time to learn more about yourself. Explore areas of your personality that you've longed to get to know better, and let yourself experiment with new activities and hobbies. Find ways to repair the damage divorce may have caused before you begin looking for someone else to fill in your voids. The last thing you want is to enter a relationship expecting your partner to fill in your gaps and heal you. The ideal partner will complement you, not complete you.

HOW TO MEET NEW PEOPLE?

When you are out meeting people, you are just trying to have fun. By participating in activities that you always wanted to do or really enjoy, you won't feel like you failed if you don't meet someone that day. If you are shy try the dating sites at first, there you can exchange messages before meeting in real world which may be very helpful.

REGARDING YOUR CHILDREN WHILE DATING

This is a sensitive issue depending largely on the ages of your kids and your personal discretion. Trust your instincts.

For little children, you can tell them that you are meeting a friend for dinner or an activity.

If a dating partner insists on meeting your children, this is a red flag. Introducing your kids to a date is completely your decision because your kids' happiness and stability is a priority over your date's desire to meet them.

Ultimately, the best tip for re-entering the dating game is to explore various action strategies and choose those that are most comfortable for you. For some, getting into the right frame of mind before taking the leap is essential. You know yourself best, so trust your inner wisdom.

Almost one-third of women between ages 40 and 69 are dating younger men!

2011-11-30T10:35:20-00:00

Older woman with younger man romance or marriage is not a matter of awe anymore. Many men have found love, harmony and happiness with women who are a bit older than them. Nowadays age is no more a criteria when it comes to matters of the heart. Earlier that was not the case and the woman involved in such a relationship was considered a cradle snatcher. Actually what makes guys attracted to older woman? The below mentioned may be some reasons or benefits of having a Cougar as partner.

16 years of diffrence. . .

Cougars are taboo. . .

This factor makes young men attracted to them. Our Society is used to see older men and younger woman more than the other way round and thereby offer more acceptance to such relationships. The normal tendency of people is that they want what they cannot have or what is a forbidden fruit'.

10 years of diffrence. . .

Sexual experience. . .

Believe it or not, some men date older women because they think they are simply better in bed. This is a myth, but I might as well put it out there. Our study showed that both genders believe that cougars are more sexually experienced (see chart below).

Older women are more likely to be set in their careers, and more likely to be established financially and emotionally. They are more in tune with their own bodies and sexual desires, and aren't afraid to express those desires. Older women are also more likely to orgasm than younger women, and the expectation is that they will be able to teach or indoctrinate younger men into more sensual pleasures.

Relationship with a mature woman means no drama. . . .

An older woman is probably more open minded.

As a general rule, older women are more open minded. They can take a dirtly joke, or critisim. They dont get offended as easily as the younger do.

People gain more confidence as they grow older. Many young men find older woman attractive as tend to be less superficial. A conversation with a mature lady can be interesting and intellectual whereas majority of younger woman tend to be silly, immature and sometimes shallow.

5 years of diffrence. . .

Older woman are independet and they know what they want. . .

Majority of older women is financially independent and has successful careers. Men like it when his partner is self-sufficient and self-supportive and dont need him to take care of her.

Writing a dating profile can be one of the main steps of finding your soulmate.

2011-11-28T09:49:00-00:00

1) Photo !

It should be a good natural looking photo. Put on make-up and wear nice clothes. Make yourself look appealing and like someone you would want to get to know better. You need to look sexy and glamorous, just make sure it still looks like you not someone else. The better the photo the more profile views you will have.

2) Honest

Be honest about everything, especially in your profile. I know that it is tempting to shed a few pounds or years in your profile in an attempt to increase your profile views. You have to remember why you are here in the first place. It is to find your soul mate. Lying about things now will only come back to hurt you later. When you fill out your profile, use your real age, weight, height, and everything else.

3) Don't mention the ex!

Ok, so you may have just come out of a relationship and be feeling sad and lonely but don't write about it. It will put a lot of people off and you may come across desperate, which is not an attractive trait. Make online dating a new start for you and promise yourself not to dwell on past relationships.

4) Do not go overboard with your expectations!

You need somebody who likes eggs but not omelets, can dance but only the Watusi, eats Japanese food but doesn't use chopsticks because that would be too pretentious, will call you exactly four times per day, likes dogs but only Pomeranians and Dachshunds, must be earning over $300K/year... you don't want a man. You want a robot you can program.

5) Leave a bit of mistery

Keep your profile brief enough that it does not appear daunting when someone opens it up because it contains so much information, but include enough information for someone to get an idea of who you are. You don't need to fill in every fill-in-the-blank question (leave a little mystery), but be specific and thoughtful on the ones you have filled out.

How to make a good profile ?

2011-11-25T10:20:04-00:00

The number of responses you get from other single members will depend mostly on the quality of your profile. We're presenting some tips, how to make your profile more attractive for other members.

1. Make sure that you have a good profile photo. Singles' profiles with photos get up to ten times more messages than those without. 'Good' photos are viewed even more. So don't post a photo of you in pajamas. Try to find one which shows you smiling, as such photos are more inviting and get more attention. An extremely important issue is the authenticity of the posted images. Please note that if you put the picture which is attractive, but it is a photo stolen from another website, you may temporarily increase the popularity of your profile, but it prevents you from arranging a real date!

2. Complete your profile. Anyone looking at your profile wants to get to know you. Tell about yourself and your interests.

3. The best on the top. Write your profile from the beginning to the end. Then read it carefully. Choose from it, what do you like most and place it in the first sentence. The first few sentences makes the biggest impression and impact on your perception of people in a certain way. If the first information for the visitor will not be interesting, probably will not read the rest of the profile.

4. Write about something that sets you apart. Describe this so that the person reading your profile could imagine it. Description of actions says more about you than the classic list of adjectives, like 'I'm funny and spontaneous'

5. Be honest. Your profile should be true and realistic. If you are not honest on your profile, that doesn't make a good impression!

6. Important are deeds, not words. Instead of writing that you have a sense of humour, show it in your description. Write text that enables the other person to say what kind of jokes you like, etc.

7. 'My ideal partner'. Write honestly what you want. Don't give the impression that nobody is good enough for you. Members may avoid profiles with too high expectations, as they are afraid of rejection.

8. Don't forget to fill out the optional profile questions. These will help other members get to know you even better.

Just remember, the better your profile describes you, the more likely it is that others will read and respond to it.

Have you already tried our new feature Meet me?

2011-11-23T12:42:00-00:00

What is 'Meet me' feature?

Give yourself a chance to be noticed by a wider crowd!

'Meet me' is a proposal of profiles which we think you may be interested in. You can make a good first impression based on your profile picture.

How does it work?

It's simple, if you like a member's profile picture click YES, if you still need to reconsider click MAYBE. If you are not interested at all click NO. When another member clicks YES on your profile you will be notified.

You can check your picks under the 'You want to meet' list.

Also you can check which members clicked YES on your profile picture under the 'Want to meet you' list.

Mutual Match list shows profiles which you marked as interesting and vice verse.

With one click you can choose whether you're interested in that person and let her/him know about it.

Moreover, from here you can: contact this member, add him/her to the favourite list or view member's profile.

Where can you find 'Meet me' feature?

It is located on the orange toolbar. The picture shows the exact location of Meet me feature on the site.

It's quick and easy to use. What are you waiting for? Once you try it, you will love it.

What do you think about this feature? We're awaiting your opinions!

8 fascinating facts about love

2011-11-22T10:59:00-00:00

While kissing you extend your life by up to five years, and a broken heart really hurts!
Viewing 8 facts about love, marriage and sex.

1. One in five long-term relationships begin when one partner is still in the previous relationship.
Sometimes it may happen that the bride met the groom by her former boyfriend and it took her only four months to marry the new guy. The American study, which has been published some time ago by magazine "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology", showed that such "poaching" grown, regardless of what country we come from, in which culture one grew up. The study was conducted among 16,000 people in 53 countries in the international project.

2. Love is an obsession, mental illness
Some scientists compare the infatuation to mental illness. People in a manic state have improved mood, behave chaotically, make snap decisions, they are overly confident. Who did not happen to think all the time about the partner? Dopamine makes obsessive thoughts revolve around the selected person.

3. Vibrator was used therapeutically in mood disorders
Vibrator was used for the treatment of female hysteria in the nineteenth century. Nowadays this sex toy helps doctors dissipate anxiety and combat symptoms such as headache, nervousness, insomnia, heaviness, fainting, loss of appetite.

4. Stage costume burlesque dancers had once covered the symptoms of disease
Petticoats, lace, satin, taffeta, stockings, lace-up corsets - all in order to look sexy while dancing. Burlesque costumes and lingerie a few centuries ago had a slightly different purpose. The lower part of the outfit included a pubic wig. This coat, which covers the real fur or depilated skin of intimate surroundings. Today, humorous and sexy clothing retail Dita von Teese is just ornamentation, awakening the senses and imagination. In the fifteenth century, prostitutes used to hide signs of venereal disease.

5. The tradition of giving a diamond ring goes back to the fifteenth century

"Anna, please, accept this engagement ring as a sign of my love." It is true that the Romans gave rings to their beloved women. But they were simply metal rings, presented as evidence of serious plans.
The tradition of engagement ring with a diamond began when Austrian Archduke Maximilian gave such ring to his fiancee Mary of Burgundy in the fifteenth century.

6.Men who kiss their wives in the morning, live five years longer than those who do not
Psychologist at the University of Hawaii - Paul Pearsall thought it was all thanks to hormones. In kissing people lift the level of oxytocin, a hormone that protects against depression. It also increases the level of adrenaline and insulin, improves blood circulation and oxygenates the brain. Exchanging saliva and germs also from the partner. This stimulates the immune system and thus more easily we deal with infections. It is worth remembering in the cool autumn days.

7. A broken heart really hurts
Research suggests that pain after broke up is as real as the injury. Two areas of the brain that respond to physical pain also become activated when a person feels the romantic pain when it is abandoned. The study was conducted at the University of California, used magnetic resonance imaging to monitor brain activity of participants while they played a game simulating social rejection. Scientists believe that the pain of rejection may have evolved as a motivating force that led people to seek social interaction, which is crucial for the survival of most mammals.

8. Feminism increases satisfaction with sex
People sometimes have a tendency to hold negative views about feminists. The stereotype is that feminist is a woman unattractive, mostly lesbian. Researchers at Rutgers University, not only refute this myth, what is more - say that the feminist-minded people - both men and women enjoy sex more and are often in happy relationships.

How to Find a Good Relationship

2010-04-08T13:03:00-00:00

Today, I want to talk to you about a book that really got me thinking about relationships, and how we can make them work for us. The book? The Time of My Life by Patrick Swayze.

As you know, Patrick Swayze made history when he got the leading role in the cult film, Dirty Dancing. The film tells the story of Johnny, a dance teacher, trying to make it big while keeping his morals and integrity intact. Now, as much as I love that film, Swayze's own life story is even more interesting, and what I found really inspiring was how many times he was rejected, broken down and still picked himself back up and tried again. He had passion and drive and knew what he wanted in life. He had a starting point, he knew where he wanted to go. But one thing that kept him focused, even through his long and difficult struggle with alcoholism, was his wife Lisa.

So what is the foundation for this kind of great relationship? What lets some couples make it through the hard times, while others fall apart? Going back to Swayze' character in Dirty Dancing, I think he can teach us a lot. Johnny has a hard time trying to decide whether to follow his heart or his head, but in the end his true values triumph.

And I believe that that's the case for all of us, whether we're aware of it or not. No matter what we do in life, we are driven by our core values. We cannot avoid them, if we push them down, they will come back in full force. Ignore them and they will literally jump in front of you, until you can't pretend you don't see them any more.

When it comes to Relationships, your values are going to dictate whether you live happily ever after or not. Do you ever notice that you always pick the same kind of troublesome guy or girl? They have the same problems and you keep meeting them over and over; youre like a magnet for disastrous dates or relationships? If so, have you ever though that you might be ignoring what you really want, and instead going for what you think you want, or even worse what you think is acceptable?

Your values are such an important part of dating, and knowing what they are is crucial for happiness and success in relationships. You need to identify your own values, and decide what it is that you really want what you need from a relationship. I'm going to list some ideas below, so take a look at them and get thinking about your own:

Health
Wealth
Confidence
Emotional Support
Conversation
Adventure
Trust
Love
Commitment
Creativity
Fun
Family
Friends
Security

These are by no means all the values that exist, but they're a good start. Have a good, long think about what you value in a relationship, and keep these values in mind when you're looking for a potential partner.

Best of Luck!

Chick Flicks and Reality

2010-03-25T16:36:00-00:00

Chick Flicks have often been put down as trite, sappy, emotional, clichéd, melodramatic, weepy, and trivial. But I'd like to propose something different I'm convinced that we can learn a lot from chick flicks when it comes to dating.

Now, I know that might sound a bit ridiculous, but bear with me. Chick Flicks are such a huge part of the film industry these days, so I don't think their influence can be discounted. We must see something in them, right? Well, I think that 'something' is a valuable insight into what we want from dating and relationships.

Of course I'm aware that the plots of most Chick Flicks are exaggerated and over-simplified in a lot of ways, so why am I suggesting that we use them as a guide for our own lives?

Well, you'll agree that, for the most part, a Chick Flick's main goal is to balance humour, romance, and relationship issues. The balance may not always be believable, but they technique they've used is an excellent one by maintaining a balance, and making sure that problems don't outweigh humour, they make sure that the film as a whole is an enjoyable experience. So what I'm suggesting is that we all take the same approach. Make every effort to make sure that you don't let the bad parts of your life take over the good parts. It won't work for every situation, I know, but for most people's day-to-day life, it's a good attitude to have; a positive attitude can make a huge difference to the way your day plays out.

So how do we apply this to dating? Well, I want you to think of a Chick Flick that exemplifies your idea of the perfect date / relationship. (Preferably, pick one that's close enough to your reality to be a possibility.) What is it that you like about the film? What tone does it take? Is it funny? Romantic? Serious? A mixture of all those things? Or something completely different?

The next time you go out on a date, I want you to remember that film, and model your own behaviour on it. Try to act as though you were a character in that film, and create a similar atmosphere for your own date. With any luck, it'll help to bring your dream date that little bit more of a reality!

Choosing a character to model yourself on in circumstances like this is called the 'archetype' technique, and it's a fantastic way to build your confidence and have some fun. I use archetypes all the time, myself my favourite being Monica from Friends, who helps me get the housework done! (Maybe not the best archetype when it comes to dating, though...)

Best of luck with your next date!

How to Get the Date You Want

2010-03-04T12:21:00-00:00

We all have our own idea of what a Dream Date would be, and they all vary wildly. Do you go for tall, dark and handsome? Short, blonde and bubbly? Quiet, mysterious and clever? There are as many different concepts of the 'perfect person' as there are different people in the world, and that's a huge part of what makes dating incredibly fun and incredibly frustrating at the same time. While it's great to get out there and socialise, it can also start to feel a bit hopeless when you seem to keep attracting the wrong kind of person.

So this week, I want to talk about strategies for helping you attract your ideal match. Yes, really, there are plenty of things that you can do to give yourself a better chance with the man or woman of your dreams there's no need to just sit around hoping they'll notice you any more!

First of all, I want you to think about the kind of person you'd define as your Dream Date. Would you like someone funny? Someone tall? Someone successful? Someone outgoing? Someone quiet? What characteristics make you want to date someone? If you had to describe your dream man or women in five sentences, what would they be?

Yes, that's all very well, you say. I want Johnny Depp's head on Eric Bana's body, with a doctor's brain thrown into the mix. Or Keira Knightley's head on Jessica Alba's body, and she should want to go for twenty-mile hikes every weekend. That bit was easy. But how do I get someone like that to notice me?

Well, did you ever hear the saying 'like attracts like'? It's very relevant here. Imagine the kind of person that your Dream Date would go for. What do you think they'd be like? Do you fit their match? If your answer is, 'Oh wow, yes!' then great, go for it. There's nothing stopping you! However, if your answer is, 'I don't know...' or even 'Absolutely, positively, certainly not!' then don't worry. Seriously. There are plenty of steps that you can take to make yourself more like your Dream Date's Dream Date! Take a look at my tips below:

1: Be Interesting.
Get yourself interested in things. When I say things, I mean reading, films, music, hobbies. The more activities you do the more interesting you become, and the more you'll have in common with other interesting people. If your Dream Date is clever, they'll probably prefer the company of clever people. If they're really into art, it makes sense that they'd like to spend time with someone who also does. There's no point in saying, "I want to date a novelist who paints portraits in their spare time," if you never read books and don't know a paintbrush from a toothbrush. People like to share interests, so by developing your own you'll become a lot more attractive to people who do the same.

2: Take Care of Your Appearance.
It is important to keep yourself presentable, and I've talked about the benefits of looking good for dates before. You dont have to be catwalk model material, but its good to have as many advantages as you can when it comes to trying to impress your Dream Date. Looking after yourself involves just a few simple steps, which you probably hear every day it's commonplace advice, but it's important to heed it. Eat well, sleep well, take light exercise, get some presentable clothes for your date night. See? Simple. You dont have to have a complete makeover, but it is good to make sure you're looking after yourself properly. A healthy body is the sign of a healthy mind, after all.

3: Master Your Social Skills
Good communication is one of the greatest skills you can develop it will help make a great first impression, let you flirt comfortably, and generally improve your relationships with other people. If you want to know my secrets for successful communication, take a look at How to Communicate With Appeal. The clearer you are when you are talking, the more attractive you'll be to others it even improves your appearance, since your well-spoken voice will compliment any effort that you've put into your clothes and hair. Projecting this kind of image will generally make you more attractive to everybody, and will give you even more of a chance at snagging your dream date!

Meeting the right kind of person can be fun, simple and easy. Its just a matter of keeping yourself open to the right kind of experiences and taking the opportunity to develop yourself personally. And if you're not seeing instant improvements in your love life, don't fret change and growth are always good things, even outside of a dating context. Remember the definition of madness: 'doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.' So go do and something different for a change! You won't regret it.

Until next week!