I am not very good at expressing myself in writing and I've been struggling to think up good stuff to write in my first messages to women on the site. I sent a few contact requests but then I just couldn't think of anything to write that doesn't sound just silly or pointless. Is there a trick to it? (Peter, 41)

There is no trick to writing a good first message to someone. Sometimes, just saying hi and that you liked someone's profile is enough.

Before sending messages, you should make sure your profile tells women enough about you so that they can tell whether or not they are interested. Writing about yourself is not easy, but Anotherfriend.com does give you plenty of handy boxes to fill, so you don't need to think too hard about what sort of things to include. If your profile is detailed, you wont need to try too hard with your first message. The woman will look at your profile and, if she wants to know more about you, will keep the conversation going.

If you want to make your first message to someone more relevant, take a good look at her profile and think about what it was that made you want to contact her. Maybe it was your high compatibility rating, or the fact that she's visited a country you've spent a lot of time in. Maybe you even share a hobby or an interest. Any of these things could be a conversation starter. You could mention it in your message and ask her some questions about it. One or two will suffice. It's generally best to keep the first message pretty short. After a few more messages, you could mention the fact that you don't like communicating online very much and see if you can speak on the phone instead. You could even suggest meeting up, if you both feel ready.

Good Luck and Happy Dating!