Guys, did you ever wonder why some women are happy one minute and really annoyed the next? Why they say one thing and go and do something completely different? Why there seems to be one rule for them and one rule for you?

Ladies, do you feel the same about guys? Do you find many of them hard to read? Why don’t they just say what they mean and stop wasting time? Why can they just take charge for once?

These questions are the staples of the dating world, and every second magazine seems to claim that they've got the answers: Men like women to be women; really feminine but also independent and strong. Women like men to be men; traditionally masculine, but with a kind and appealing soft side to them. Women love a man who listens, but can also hold his own in a conversation. Men love when women are sexy, but also reserved. Caring but not clingy. Well-dressed but not high-maintenance. These lists go on and on and on, but do they actually provide any help?

I know that I find this repetitive advice incredibly frustrating, so I completely understand if you do too! It's no wonder there are so many single people out there who believe that they'll never be able to find love, since the signals and advice they're receiving are so conflicting. How can anybody be all the things they're "supposed' to be at once?

Well, my answer is: they can't. But that doesn't stop you from making the effort. If you think about it for a moment, your life is full of conflicting roles — at work and at home, with your parents and with your friends, on a night out in the club and in a high-class restaurant. And, to some extent, it's important to consider your role within a relationship in the same way. I'm not telling you to sacrifice important parts of yourself for the sake of someone else's approval — far from it! If they expect you to be something that you're not, they're not worth another moment of your time. What I am suggesting, however, is that it isn't a crime to put in some effort to keep them happy.

There will always be some conflict in your relationship, but it's how you and your partner handle it that will determine its ultimate success or failure. And I think that this is the real answer to the question of what the opposite sex wants; they want someone who will make the effort to understand them, even when doing so seems difficult, or your interests conflict. If you love sports and she doesn't, you need to understand that ranting about your favourite team will bore her to tears. If you love art and he hates it, you can't expect him to jump for joy at the opportunity to visit an exhibition after work. You need to learn where to compromise, and how to fit one another into your lives while still maintaining your individuality. If you expect men to be one way and women another, and for both partners to love every single thing about the other, then you're sabotaging your dating life from the very beginning.

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So take a moment, and think about the expectations that you place upon your partner to be the "ideal man" or "ideal woman". Are they unrealistic? How about what they expect from you?