A break-up can be a painful experience, and getting over a relationship always takes time; that's a perfectly natural part of the process. The period after a break-up is a time to come to terms with your loss, so that you can move on to a brighter day. And part of that brighter day will involve dating again.

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One important thing to remember is that the best way to learn from your old relationship is to try and achieve some emotional distance. So spend some time contemplating your past experience, as coming to terms with it will help you move on to an even better, happier relationship in the future. Consider questions such as:

• Where were the main issues that lead to your break-up?
  
• Were the problems rooted in communication, sex, finances, personal connections or fun? Or something else entirely?
  
• What could you have done better?
  
• Did you make some compromises that, in hindsight, were ill-advised?
  
• What have you learned from the relationship?
  
• What are you going to do in the future to give your next relationship? 

Answering these questions can bring a lot of issues to the front of your mind — some of which you may not have considered in the past. Try to answer them honestly and thoughtfully, and they should help you to understand more clearly the reasons that the relationship didn't work.


When you feel ready to return to the world of dating after a break-up, keep these guidelines in mind to get you on the right track, and to help you stay in the right mindset.

1: Start Living in the Present.  
This means consciously developing an awareness of what is going on around you and what you need to do to put yourself back together again. Rather than spending your days your days wallowing in miserable thoughts like, "What if I die alone?" or, "Every day I have lived so far is a lie,"  get yourself off the couch, ring a friend and make some plans. It doesn't matter what you decide to do — it just has to be something that will get you involved in something other than sadness. Your plans could be as big as decorating the house, or as small as doing the dishes. Just get yourself up and moving every day, basically.

2: Axe the Killer cConversations. 
Don’t get involved in man- or woman-hating conversations. You know the kind I'm talking about; "Men are all pigs!" or "Women have no hearts!" These conversations will only lead to you feeling worse, and can also build up a lot of negative or even aggressive energy — which isn't good for your physically or emotionally. Remember that when breaking up with someone, you will go through many different stages, and your emotions play a big part in these. Emotions — even the ones which don't feel so great — are good for us. They tell us if something isn't quite right, and give us warning signals when change is on the way. But it's important to keep a rational grip on your feelings at the same time. It's fine to let your emotions out, but try not to let them rule your life for too long.

3: Be Kind to Yourself.
When moving on with your life and thinking about getting back into the dating game, take it easy. Make small attempts, and take baby steps at first. Don’t try to run before you can walk. Plan nice evenings out with your friends — maybe go to the cinema, then get some drinks and dinner. Whatever feels good for you. Give yourself a mini-makeover before you go out, too, if you think that might help you to feel better. And since you can't be going on social outings all of the time, you might consider taking up a new hobby. You've probably got some extra time on your hands now, and maybe you aren't sure how to fill it, so building a new skill — or developing one you already have — is a really productive way to get yourself into a new routine. But no matter what you decide to do, do it because you want to and it feels good. A bit of self-love and kindness goes a long way towards the healing process, so don't fling yourself back into the dating world until you're read.

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If you've recently joined www.anotherfriend.com but still feel like you haven't quite recovered from your past relationship, don't worry. It's fine. There are plenty of other people in your position feeling the very same way. My advice to you would be to keep your dates and chats casual, lighthearted, and friendly for the time being — don't ever feel pressured to move into something more serious until the time feels right for you.

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How have you coped with break-ups in the past? Have you found it difficult? What was the best advice you received?

As a member of AnotherFriend.com, you're already aware that you're part of a thriving community of Irish singles. But if you're a Premium Member, are you making the most of your interactions with that community? Are you aware of all the online dating tools and resources at your fingertips? And if you're aware of them, are you using them to improve your online romances?

We know that all the features can get a bit confusing, so we've put together a handy guide to our Premium online dating services. If you see a feature you're never tried before, go ahead and give it a go! You'll never know what you might be missing otherwise.

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Singles' Events
Singles' events are a great way to turn online dating into real life dating. As Ireland's largest online dating site, we've got over 390,000 members, so these events are definitely not to be missed! Bring a friend along, have a good laugh, meet some new people, and have a whole lot of fun.
Where can you find out about these events? Check the Events Board at the bottom of your homepage for details of times, dates, and venues.

Message Board
Our message board is a great way to keep up to date with the AnotherFriend.com community, since you can use it to talk with other members in a public forum. It's also a place for us to keep you updated on exciting new things we're planning for the site, so keep an eye out! The best way to stay in touch with the day-to-day life of AnotherFriend.com is to check the message board each time you log in, and getting involved with it can really help you feel like part of our online singles community.

Instant Messaging
This is a great way to start building rapport with other Premium Members, since you can chat to them quickly and confidently. It takes all the terror out of face-to-face conversations, and lets you become more and more comfortable communicating with other members who are of interest of you. Be sure you try out this tool if you haven't already; it's really fantastic fun, and an excellent way of getting to know other single Irish men or women.

Chatroom
Chatrooms are another great way of getting to know different people, especially if you like chatting in a group. You can see what members are talking about, and if it's of interest to you then you can join in yourself. Who knows what sort of interesting people you could meet! It's all about putting yourself out there and taking a chance — and what better place to do so than in the safe, controlled environment offered to you as a member of AnotherFriend.com?

Advanced Search
This is definitely my favourite tool, no questions about it! With Advanced Search, you can type in exactly
what you are looking for in a potential partner. You're no longer restricted to searching by gender or location — you can now refine your search down to small details like height, education, and eye colour. This is great, and can really help you narrow down your search for the perfect man or woman! Definitely give this one a go if you haven't tried it before.

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As times goes on, online dating is becoming more and more popular as the modern way to date. We believe that it's now safer to meet someone online than it is in a pub, since our site gives you the chance to get to know them — and to have a good sense of their character — before you meet in real life. As a Premium Member, you've got access to all the best features that the online dating world has to offer, so make sure you take advantage of them! Put yourself out there, start interacting with other men and women using all of our different tools, and above all have fun while looking for that someone special.

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What's your favourite tool on AnotherFriend.com? Are there any different features you'd like to see? Let us know in the comments!

Finding the right kind of person for you is often the simplest part of the whole relationship process. Keeping the relationship interesting enough to make you both want to stick around is the tough part.

Relationships all go through a so-called 'honeymoon period', during which everything seems impossibly wonderful. Your partner has no flaws, there's no friction between you, and the days just seem to go by in a haze of perfection. The length of this period differs from couple to couple, with some saying that it ended after three weeks, some saying six months, and others over a year.

However long this honeymoon period may last, though, the truth is that it always comes to an end. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing - many relationships do just fizzle out after the initial chemistry wears off, since there isn't enough of a connection between both partners to sustain it.

But if you feel like you want to stick things out for the long run, here a few guidelines that you can follow to keep your relationship interesting and enjoyable.

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1. Maintain the Mystery
Your partner didn't know much about you when you first met. Your past, your work friends and acquaintances, your exes, and everything else about your life was a complete mystery. So, if your relationship is still in the early stages, it's a wise move not to reveal every single detail of your life straight away. Keep an air of mystery about you - it's very alluring. That's obviously not to say that you shouldn't tell your partner anything about yourself (your relationship won't get far if you never say a word!), but just keep in mind that a slow trickle of information is much more interesting than one big, overwhelming wave of it. We all love a good mystery!

2. Make the Effort with Your Appearance
Try to stay as attractive as you where when you first met. Appearances aren't everything, and your partner should value you for more than just the way you look, but physical attraction is nonetheless a big part of any relationship. Don’t take a lazy attitude to your appearance just because you're in a settled relationship - keep making an effort to look your best, whatever that may mean for you. Remember: when you look great, you feel great!

3. Declare Independence
Yes, you're in a relationship. No, you haven't magically merged into one single person. It's important to keep some aspects of your life seperate from one another, and to maintain your own personal space. Keep up your hobbies by yourself - attend dance classes, write your novel, go jogging, play videogames, whatever appeals to you. Just set some time aside to do it on your own. The same goes for friends - not every outing has to include the two of you, and it can often be very relaxing to socialise without your partner. Having independent lives helps to sustain that air of personal mystery that I talked about earlier, and independence is always an attractive quality in its own right. Who likes a clingy boyfriend or girlfriend?

4. Keep it Creative
Keep that romantic, creative spark going. It's easy to settle into a routine in a long-term relationship, and while that brings a certain sense of contentment to many couples, it can also start to get a bit boring and monotonous at times. So make the effort to inject new concepts and plans into your date life. They don't have to be of epic proportion, just do something a little different to keep things interesting. Take her for a surprise picnic, randomly pay for his dinner in a restaurant, plan an entire day spent under the duvet covers... Think outside the box when it comes to planning how you are going to be spending time with your date. Basically, spring surprises just for the sake of it!

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How have you coped with the end of the honeymoon period in the past? Have you any more tips you'd like to share with us?

We all suffer from those first date nerves. But don't worry, they're not always a bad thing; on the contrary, the great thing about nerves is that they let you know that something is important to you. And being excited and enthusiastic about a first date - even if you're incredibly nervous at the same time - is the first step to making a great connection with another person.
Although nerves aren't necessarily bad for your love life, I do appreciate that they can be a bit annoying, especially if they get the best of your social skills over the course of an evening. So I offer you the two best tips that I know of for overcoming them: Be Yourself and Don't Try Too Hard.

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Be Yourself

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Don't try too hard to impress your date; it's actually a bit of a turn-off for many people. Don't rehearse conversations over and over in your head, or over-embellish stories about your life, or blather on and on and on in a blind panic. Instead, focus on being a good listener. Stay positive, and focus on shared experiences.

How can you have any shared experiences to talk about on a first date, you ask? Easy - make them happen. Going to a movie is probably the easiest way to do this, and it's something that just about everyone enjoys. There's a reason that cinema dates are a cliche, you know. Try to pick something you'll both enjoy  - or at least something you'll both hate! Anything you can bond over, really. If he hates fantasy, don't make him sit through hours of elves, trolls, or epic battles. If she despises thrillers, don't drag her to the latest Matt Damon flick. Try to find a compromise - Drama is often your best bet. After the movie is over, go for a drink somewhere and have a chat about your favourite bits, least favourite bits, other films you've seen recently and loved/hated... Sounds easy, right? It really is!

Of course, that's not to say that you shouldn't try at all. Check out the rest of the blog for some tips on making a good impression on the first date, and lots of other handy advice!

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How do you feel about first dates? Do they panic you? Fluster you? Or do they bring out the smooth, suave, sweet-talking side of you?